A few days ago I read this article and suddenly I found it striking very close to home like a poorly-aimed meteorite. Now, I’m not the kind of people who love to diagnose using vague symptoms and characteristics one can easily find on the net. We all know everybody’s suffering from once they read the Wiki article on said disorder (or maybe Wikipedia causes aspie? Who knows?) but let’s just say that I’m a kind of person who tends to break down in depression. I don’t know whether my depression has already entered clinical state to the point where I can be considered from suffering depression disorder or not but I’m so moody, the mud from Sidoarjo mud flow looks like clear mineral water.
The interesting thing from the article is the little research working on the connection between creativity with depression. I also can’t outright say I’m a creative (I can’t say much about myself since I’m a secret service agent) because that’s up for other to judge but I personally can feel what I call as ‘unbearable urge of sudden inspiration’. There are times when enjoying novels, movies, comics, and stuffs, I got this really wild ideas mostly ‘I don’t like how the story goes! It’ll satisfy me much more if I’m in control!’ Then I started writing little notes and stuffs and I ended up making stories and setting that are 100% different from the original (well, not exactly 100% but maybe like 73.45%?) This ‘unbearable urge of sudden inspiration’ is pretty annoying since that means I can’t honestly enjoy stuffs easily anymore. I remember reading the last Harry Potter book while screaming ‘No, Rowling! THIS IS NOT WHAT I DESIRE!!!’ and if I’m not mistaken that was also the reason why I ended up putting down The Alchemyst series by the third book. Call me biased dirty fanboy but only Terry Pratchett is safe from my indescribable rage because you got to admit that guy is a genius.
Apart from my little camouflaged self-diagnosis-in-denial here, I genuinely am interested in this article. When I was studying nutrigenomics, I once heard how food intake can affect mood and how several genes play part in our response to empathy. I just love the effort SCIENCE has spent in order to understand abstract concept in human biology such as emotion and love. There’s just something romantic about it. That is why this finding on how the gene that regulates depression correlates with creativity sounds like the hot topic of the month for me.
I don’t know whether my acute ‘unbearable urge of sudden inspiration’ syndrome ties directly with my moody tendency or not, that is up to SCIENCE to decide, but I can say that article got the point. Delicious and cruel point like a skewered beef but still a point nevertheless. In the mean time I’ll just enjoy this moodiness due to failed scholarship application while at the same time cursing at His Dark Materials for not going according to my way (my scenario involves cute girl daemon AND jazz-playing warmongering grizzly bear which on the scale from 1 to BATMAN on awesomeness scale is probably around 7).